Book Review: I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die 

As the subtitle says, this book is all about “Finding hope in the darkness of depression”. 

This book is less of a manuscript and more of a gentle cup of coffee and good conversation with a wise friend. Through vulnerable storytelling, Sarah shares her own lived experience of self-harm and suicidal ideation, of wrestling with faith in a good God in the midst of the darkness of depression and despair. 

The book also is full of practical advice – on getting the most from therapy, on self-care, on prayer when words don’t come easily, and on many other areas. 

But it is so much more than simply practical advice on negotiating the difficult path of mental illness; Sarah’s words are a balm of validity and compassion for those who are walking a similar path of loving Jesus but struggling with mental ill-health of whatever nature. The inclusion of trigger warnings for difficult sections and extracts from her journals make this unlike so many other books on this topic. The content is hard, the issues discussed are complex, but the words are woven together with genuine compassion and care for her reader. Sarah does not offer solutions, but rather a companion for the journey, for as long as that journey will take.

It is also an essential read for friends and family of those with mental illness, and for those involved in pastoral work in a church community. The book contains helpful appendices on how to help and support depressed and suicidal loved ones, full of practical steps and helpful words for those whose loved ones are hurting. 

I couldn’t agree more with Robert Vore’s recommendation within the book: “The way Sarah blends her personal story with helpful suggestions makes I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die an important read for anyone wanting to learn or understand more about the ways faith and suicidality can interact. Whether you’re someone with similar experiences, a caring friend, or someone wanting to make your faith community safer for others, this book is for you.” (Robert Vore, therapist and co-host of the podcast CXMH: On Faith & Mental Health). 

An essential read for all those with an interest in this area.

I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die: Finding Hope in the Darkness of Depression is written by Sarah J Robinson and is available to buy here on Amazon.