Wandering in the Wilderness

He wandered in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights
I have been doing the same for fifty
Now over fifty
Waiting like a child
Waiting like a daughter
Of a God I cannot hear
Whose existence I am beginning to doubt
How can there be any hope in this wilderness?

Just blankness: blank walls, blank sheets, blank pages of my notebook
I try to write, trying to channel, funnel my emotions
But like the desert, everything is bare, it has all dried up
But Jesus had faith, the size of a mustard seed but he still had faith
In God, even in the wilderness
He was tempted and tried and wrestled and cried
But he still had faith
That God would come through for him
Even when faced with death, he chose life
He chose God
Even a mustard seed grows in the desert
All is needed is a little patience and a lot of waiting
And a bit of faith

Maybe the desert isn’t bare after all
Maybe it has a shoot, waiting to grow
Just a little faith is needed
But I need him now
Even though I know I have to be patient
Patient like the seed ready to grow
Ready to flourish and leave the desert ground
When her time is right
All in God’s time

Good and gracious
Time
 

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Sophie is a theology graduate and an aspiring writer. She has interests in theology and mental health. She has a blog called FindSophie which considers this through the medium of poetry and prose.